Tuesday, December 9, 2008

It's an illusion Michael. Tricks are what whores do for money.

If you've ever ridden on any form of public transportation, especially in NYC, you learn very quickly to ignore those who try to "entertain" you. 99% of the time they are awful (mariachi band at 8:45am on a crowded train? no thank you), and panhandling in any form is against the law. The rare performer who captures your attention is a special event indeed.

At first, I didn't think that my subway ride would include such an event. Especially after Act 1, aka "The worst rappers on the face of the earth." The mumbled something about New York, but I couldn't tell you one other word that was uttered. The eye rolling and grumbling as they walked through the car spoke for themselves. We are tired, it's after work, please leave us alone.

Not more than 10 seconds after the rappers du jour left the number 5 train, a man walked through the automatic door and started banging on what sounded like a pot. Now, I was frustrated. I just had to listen to the inane rhyming of two very poor "musicians," and now I was going to have to suffer through some crazy man banging on aluminum? It was almost too much.

However, as I looked up, much to my amusement, our newest subway companion just happened to be a magician. Always fascinated by magic, I was compelled to watch this particular show. To everyone's surprise, after about 30 seconds this random man had his whole audience laughing and engaged. The crowd almost lost it when he made a thong appear out of thin air after dipping a closed container briefly near a young woman's skirt.

After a few tricks, I was ready to be embarrassed when this man placed and "empty" container in front of my face and asked me to tap it, as hard as I could, with a magic wand. What I WASN'T expecting, however, was for a live dove to instantaneously appear in front of my face, flapping its wings furiously, as soon as I tapped the container. Now, one of my biggest fears, ironically (?), is that a bird will some day peck my eyes out. Don't ask why...we're all afraid of something completely ridiculous. Unfortunately the (cute) guy sitting next to me didn't have time to prepare for my debilitating fear, as he immediately had a random stranger bury her face into his shoulder, for a full 30 seconds or more. Luckily (for me), he found this incredibly amusing.

So, as our magician friend was getting ready to leave, I pulled out a dollar and placed it in his cup. Hell, I'll pay someone for amusement. Or, at least, I'll pay someone to keep his trained dove at bay.

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