We commandeered the sofa. It's a nautical term.

If New York has taught me anything, it is the importance and beauty of dumpster diving. If you have never lived within the boundaries of the 5 boroughs, it's almost impossible to believe what amazing stuff people will leave on the side of the road.

Last night I returned to my apartment, slightly inebriated, to my roommate proclaiming that there were two huge, perfectly good loveseats gracing the sidewalk on [address deleted due to maternal intervention]. The only thing that made sense at that moment was to go retrieve at least one of them.

Sure, it took 45 minutes for the two of us to carry one piece of furniture 4 blocks. Sure, several people stopped to stare, comment, and pretend to offer help. Sure, we probably now have some unknown infestation. But I completely sobered up in those 45 minutes, and this was still the best idea of all time. After a heavy dose of Lysol, this sofa of serendipity melded with its surroundings as if it could never belong anywhere else. What else would be worthy of living in the shadow of the Hoff?