So I would be king...if the world was crazy

As a professed hypochondriac, even I can't really understand why everyone is so worried about what is essentially the same flu we each get once a year (I know, I know, there are intricacies...but 331 cases out of 6 billion people? There is a much better chance that I will be stuck by lightening! Hm. Note to self: purchase lightening rod.).

But I'm going to roll with it. I like to be organized, so I've helped to create a contingency plan. I'll avoid the subway as much as possible by imbibing enough alcohol (which kills germs!) to make paying for a cab a good idea (swine flu vs. recession?). I'll also do my best to track down this (adorable, yet disgusting) small child. It's the least I can do.