I know what my next job is going to be...

Due to a very late night at the office on Wednesday, I was allowed to leave to start my weekend early today, at 1pm. Now, I decided that I would be as productive as possible, so I went directly to the gym and got a few errands done.

While at the gym, I noticed one of the televisions had a commercial for "SlimQuick" that I didn't find particularly strange, but I had never seen before as it is obviously targeted towards those who watch soap operas during the day. I paid little mind at first, because I was so enthralled by listening to Britney while rocking out on the elliptical.

Upon returning home, I saw to my delight that Family Feud was on (I miss so many fantastic things working a 9-5!), so I eagerly settled in to watch what I have been deprived of for so long. After the initial shock of Mr. Peterman as the host (when did this happen?) I began to pay attention the advertisements of this show as well. The SlimQuick commercial came on again, and I watched it more closely this time, as I've always been a sucker for cartoons.

The commercial is pretty straightforward, showing an overweight woman cartoon next to an overweight man cartoon. The woman laments, "My husband and I are trying to lose weight by cutting out snacks. I only went down one size [woman shrinks slightly] and he's gone down 6! [man shrinks to a portion of his former size, pants drop]."

Now, I would like to say now that I have no problem with this portion of the commercial. I'm not a huge fan of dietary supplements, but the commercial is right -- men often do lose weight much more easily than women. No, my problem is in the rarely read small print at the end of the commercial. Which reads (and yes, I paused and rewound this out of shock):

Dramatization. Results may vary. Cartoons lose weight easily. Individuals require regular exercise and a reduced-calorie diet to lose weight.

Um. Wait. What? "Cartoons LOSE WEIGHT EASILY???" Is this for real? Did these writers feel it absolutely necessary to explain this, or are they just trying to subtly mess with people? And if it's the latter -- where do I sign up??